My Walk
a Tuesday, June 27, 2006 b
Dont wanna think.I just wanna shoot!
yes...i confess..ive a new love interest.....b, if u happen to read this by any chance(heh) i just wanna tell u i love the ColorFLash LOMO cam....http://www.lomographyasia.com/shop/?showproduct=Colorsplash_Camera .$123.47 its great.its takes beautiful shots b! yes!..!....(ala-ala white revolver kan?!)..........
i love u b!i love u syg!i love love love u!u have are most generous kindest GENEROUS loving man!MUAX!MUAX!MUAX!*hint hint*
for more of other LOMO cams-http://www.lomographyasia.com/shop/
post at 1:26 pm
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a Monday, June 26, 2006 b
This entry is a shout out to my whole family.You guys have been e best.E ones who pull me thru...e ones who knows my deepest darkest secrets.When i quit school, when i smoke, played truants, lari rumah(frm my dad's to my mom's place)...played truant again, gue nyaris2 hanyut.when i rebel, when i pierce my tongue and ..when i come home really late...when i lied and u found out.
(Picture not that nice, but that moment was e best, e first ever time he bonded wit abah)
aye, hold on...wait..
goodness i was and still am a teenager..young adult?who doesnt go thru and pass thos phase?i noe my mom did(she went to a girls home)..my dad did...he used to smoke marijuana..he used to drink..(well he stop when he married my mom)..my brothers...oh lets not even start..my sister?..shes doing all e mistake i did...she's falling yet learning..im guiding..while im blogging all nite..thr are kids out thr doing drugs..secret society shit..violence.I may have i messed up one or two guy's heart(random)..well yang sudah tu sudah bukan?(hehe..sori feeling big bro from BS)..maybe it was meant to be...u noe tats y i met Hafeez..fate?well....im not sure.i just pray for more blessings frm families..friends..unknowns..kate2 itu semue doa bukan?Alhamdullillah..terima kasih.im grateful that the ones who has seen me fall..and kept falling..gave me other opportunities to rise and learn.i learn that EGO brings u nowhere.To accept and make e best of everything...and that if one person bitch about me, ill feel heavy frm all e pahale i get in return of e dosa he/she gets.To be grateful and more appreciative of my earthly possessions.
and to Hafeez,
for u to know everything about me,is a milestone ahead.Ive told u everything i can remember, all the back stabbing, heart wrenching, ugliest, embarrassing shitty stuffs.If i have missed out on anything..(if its true)im sorry.But the day u told me u accept my past and won't bring any of it up, and that u love me for who i am now...thats e day a huge part of my hearts attaches to urs.
I Love You Hafeez
HAPPY SIXTEENTH ANNIVERSARRY.
post at 12:50 am
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a Saturday, June 24, 2006 b
no matter wat.
4 more wks before i can drive on e road. 7 more wks of satrdays/sndays at national stad. hopefully things will get better b. we can have an xtra day together durin e wkends. thnk u for ur patience n for u to bear wit all these, i really appreciate it.
i dun care whether its on for end of e yr, nxt yr, 2008 or even 2009. dun worry. my love for u has no expiry date on it(god willing), as far as i noe. i feel so blessed to have u in my life. all e small & big things u do, they mean e world to me. everytime i miss u while in camp, i look at all those cards u did for me. everytime i come home,i look at e frame u did up for me. i tell myself im e luckiest guy on tis planet to be loved by u.
anyone else readin tis...yes we two are livin in a world of our own. hehe. cheers!
p.s: i love u b! juz e two of us.
post at 1:38 am
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a Tuesday, June 20, 2006 b
Darwish Shawqi.Beautiful big eyes.Beautiful love.
post at 3:30 pm
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a Monday, June 19, 2006 b
alright i admit it.its getting taxing.i really appreciate what u are doing for me now.i can never thank u enough....even when we get married, even when im carrying ur child inside my tum tum, even if i become the wife who cooks u each meal ,the kind of wife who gives e subservient smiles when he wants to be right..it can never ever accumulate to wat u have done for me.I thank u so much baby...and for this i surrender u my heart..all e love that i can shower u wit..
Hafeez, this entry is for u.It took u less thn a year and half to decide to leap into a lifetime wit me,and it took me less thn a minute and a half to YES!!!!'tho we can only realisticly(such words meh?) realise this in a minimum of 3 yrs(yes we wanna start young).u've caused me so much hype and adrenaline.u made me realise how precious and beautiful life is.u made me ponder and reflect...to be appreciative of my earthly possessions.I feel truly grateful that ALLAH has guided me to where i am today and for blessing me wit a man who showers me wit his love and affection constantly.you came when i least expected it.Thank u for ur limitless, endless patience wit facing my too numerous faults.thank u for having the COURAGE..when it made more sense to GO AWAY.
I LOVE YOU
Arfah
post at 10:25 pm
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a Thursday, June 15, 2006 b
JAKARTA next?
B,
im missing u so much.
much love baby.
it was a surprise to receive a call from ur brother...haha apparently not.its ur sil b.hheheh......thn she went on to pass e phone to her sister....she's asking me bout e accomodation back in BKK...e place.wah...jealous aku nak pergi lagik....well maybe JAKARTA next?...... ...i think its best to go bare.i mean go for evertything budget...unless ur father is a drug lord or a loanshark....i mean e best food are on e streets.........e best is to go bag-pack for me.'tho i get home sick fast(hate it).....i wud love to travel places.wit my baby.
post at 4:28 pm
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a Tuesday, June 13, 2006 b
Yasmin Ahmad's 'Mukhsin' has yet to be screened in SG.Yet she's another film going on.It potrays a love life of a bangladeshi and a filipino maid.Gonna be shot right here in SG.Cant wait.I love this woman for her brains, courage and lots more.she turns e table around.so Erma, u and e 'women power and all bole rilek one corner and smoke sheesha for a while.
post at 4:57 pm
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itching for that
thr's roughly 5 more months to go b.its been rocky.yet, its not as bad as i had imagine before u went in.seriously cant wait till u get thos much anticipated license by July 13th.whatsmore its a day before my bdae....ah lai!after that we chichilala or what?!....dun shy.....all of tis is so worth it b.e stability.e digits.e license.so worth e time ur in thr b.ok i noe im not e one in thr.but hey, i thinks its jus e same for me ok.anyways......i didnt noe Paris sings?!...seen her new video?...Stars Are Blind.wth eh.saw on bryan's.mcm soft porn.
if u have got nothing better to do.thn go to-
www.bryanboy.com
www.insidemybag.com
he is a gorgeous woman i tell u!e way he carries thos stuff.erg!
e amount of Gucci's Balenciaga's Hermes's(its pronouce as air-mes) thos skinny jeans! Kenzo's Goyard's!argh!...its ORGASMIC eh!HE's GAY and i LOVE him!!!!
post at 10:12 am
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a Tuesday, June 06, 2006 b
His brown eyes tells his soul.
goodness baby.am wishing you are here.for you to listen to my ramblings.there is much for u to know b.missing ur pits to tits!.....gonna have to throw tat stupid container worth of my valuables in the taxi boot and off to abah!i know ill be ,much closer to security, and all the privacy i want.but im gonna miss mak so badly, the warmthness of this cubic space, too i must say.my brothers...
darwish, n fuck it...AIN!...like she said "are we not fated to be living under one roof, kak?"it hurts.is it my fault?am i to blame for all this?but i guess tis gonna happen soon.not tis soon tho....i feel shitty.for all thats happen even if it hasnt got anything to do wit me.i just wished we were given just one, ONE chance to try n put everything together again.stick every thing else together where it,they,we belong.just one last oppurtunity to sacrifice eveything i have for a united US.i dun even care if i have to sleep on e couch...we could all just give it a TRY.no harm...dad?..ergh!
-
am gonna move back with abah.Darwish is settled.Ain is there for mak.everything else is gonna b like usual.the ten yrs of usualness(not sure if tis word exist)
Usual does sounds safe.but well who gives a heck if we just TRY.
i know everything happens for a reason.
but wheres the life in that?
Abah-i got myself to blame for letting u down.But ive learnt to grow.ill make it up to u dad, i promise.i miss it when u wud hug n concole me when im down.wipe away thos tears wut ur crocodile singlet.i miss u dancing n singing to Meggi Z.
Mak-again ive got myself to blame.maybe i jus din try hard enuff to be there when u needed me 'tho i was just...there.i wished u wud open up.i wished we cud conversate like more.wish u dun avoid e subject of 'pakcik'.if ive a magic.i'd put a spell on u to forget everything that happen tru out ur whole entire life.wish for u to wake up one sunny morning feeling refresh n b able to carved a smile on ur beautiul face.and sing again.
Adik-Dun tink apiz is e only human in my entire life.im jus waiting for u to have e courage to speak ur mind to me.and not feel emabarassed at allo.talk to me about anitin.frm abah to angst.friend to foe.emily to emo.i miss it when u wud lay down by my side n say u love me.miss it when we pinch tits.lets do tat again shall we sista?
Nok-i jus wished i cud erase ll e troubles ive caused u at home esp at WORK.i miss it when u wud hold my hands when crossing.combd my strays hairs in public.n let me hang out wit u n friends when i was much younger.ur the most gentlest yet strongest bro i can ever ask for.i miss e sungei road outings too.thanks to u im no minah.
Bam-i wish.i wished we stayed unda one roof tru out our whole life.we never see each other.we practically have nutin to talk when we meet at e family gatherings.but im glad.so glad we've bonded now.that ur here for me now.ur e most toughest n roughest yest softest bro i can ask for.thanks to u i noe respect.
on a brighter note-tanning this Sun!......
Apiz,
remember the first day when i saw ur face?
remember the first day when u smiled at me?
u stepped to me,
and then u said to me,
i was the woman u dreamed about..
remember the first when u called my house?
remember the first day when u took me out,
we had butterflies altho' we tried to hide and we both had a beautiful night.....
the way we held each others hand, the way we talked, the way we laughed.
it felt so good to find true love ,i knew right there and then u were the one
i know that he loves me 'cause he told me so...
i know that he loves me 'cause his feelings show...
when he stares at me, thu see he cares for me..
you see how he is so deep in love...
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul
im so happy, so happy that ur in my life....
and baby now that ur a part of me u've showed me,
showed me the true meaning of love.
post at 2:10 pm
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a Monday, June 05, 2006 b
oh goodness.abah's calling back.argh!how how how.
on a brighterr note its not bad what.....ergh...ok u noe wat...nvm.am gonna let it flow.
psst...I LOVE U BABY.missing u so much!love....
post at 8:21 pm
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a Sunday, June 04, 2006 b
B'Day - Deja Vu
5mnths left. and i am so gonna get darker than dark. i noe ur jealous of my tan b. dun worry, we'll do it together k? get rid of e lemax...hehe!!! happy bout e dinner on sat nite. hopefully,will get more chances to score points n reach e "target" come end of yr. pray hard.
i noe i promised to turn in early, but juz wanted to tell u again. i love u.
post at 11:56 pm
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