a Sunday, October 08, 2006 b
i miss e mic too.
im sumhow irritated. its cnfirmed. but e importnt ppl juz cant stop sayin tis and tat. y cant they juz face e fact tat its happenin n instead of blabberin ABCs of it all,sit down n talk bout HOW n WHEN its gonna happen. im pissed off myself by e uncertainties of e minor details. im a simple man. i try to do things simple.i pray to be able to do it in a simple manner. im clear bout tis - its happenin nxt yr. straight to e big one.and no, its not an occurrence of a mishap.
e question of my sis - will she or will she not - is not helpin e timin of events tat i'd love. malays.it is seriously juz plain malay customs, not islamic. argh!!! and of course i'd love to give arfah e best tat i can. WHERE n WHEN we'll go for e aftermath is up to us.
b4 we even tink deeper, my trainin's been extended...AGAIN.i dun even have a fixed date now.im hopin my passin out wont be in dec,but im preparin myself for it.wat was supposed to be 6mnths,stretched to 8. how nice. nice life inside.a bit mundane nowadays. but its terrible when it comes to wkends.i freakin have 2 days to spend time wit my loved ones.its not 2-3 mnths of bmt. its been 6mnths already,n goin to be 7 or 8 even.i miss everyone. n she's been real undrstandin of e time we spend wit my fam. its been some time since i last went to her plc,n im embarrassed.sumtimes we argue bout e situation,n i can be real freaked out n cursin e 2days i have for my loved ones everywk. if only i can cut myself into many pieces.
mum misses me.e way dad is towards her,its not helpin. i miss em both. my sensitive bro misses me.i feel guilty not spendin time wit him,his wife n my bloved danish n fatin.my sis misses me too, but at least she's got her bf.3 toyols miss me.i miss carryin em on my shoulders. bibik still worries bout wat to cook for me every bookout. my maternal grandma always asks for me, n sumtimes i rarely talk to her when im at hm.i do miss her. im juz bad. n i've nt even talked bout my paternal grndparents.haiz.i miss em all, n i cant wait for e day im no longer a trainee.i can visit my grndparents,my bro,stay home screamin at e toyols,go out wit arfah,go to her plc n feel shy in front of her fam. hehe.
i love u b.thnk u for bearin wit me,n everytin tat comes wit me.my unreasonable side,jealous,egoistic,n etc.hehe.i still fall in love wit u everyday.miss u everyday.both physically n emotionally. ;)
we're gonna take tis walk of ours further baby.only u n me.
p.s:sori ain for belatin ur bday gift.stay sweet always!
post at 2:10 am
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