a Wednesday, October 11, 2006 b
Those days
Shit im suppose to have sahur now.Cant get myself to eat.Not even honey barbequed chicken or stuffed char kway.While typing this, im feeling this deep sinking feeling inside.Something inside makes it feel hollow.Warm, yet hollow.Stepping out of the house doesnt feel right anymore.Eating macdonalds alone suck alot now(we had mac on our first date,simple yet humble)How i wish i'll wake up later this morning turn over to my right or left and be able to rest my head on his chest..Or his stomache..or just tickle him silly.Smell his ketiak whenever i feel like it.How i wish i can make him his favourite egg-mayo everyday.Smack his butt in public whenever i feel the urge to, for no reason.Touch his face when i want to.See him outside my workplace waiting patiently for me to finish closing.He'll wait...not knowing exactly when my shift ends.We quarelled alot during those times though.I was working 12 hr shifts.He was schooling.Although i'd get really tired at the end of the day.The sight and the thought of him fetching me w/o fail each and everyday possible really...only god knows how i feel.
I wish it would rain soon.For it'll bring me back sweet memories.Although a year has past, i will always remember watching him through my bedroom window 3 storeys high.It was pouring.Hiding under his windbreaker carrying a vanguard sheet and a huge marker.Scribbling something.A few seconds later showed it to my direction.I didn't know how to react.Cos i wasnt able to read it.It's too small.Anyways he called to say he wrote down in short how he felt like not being able to meet 4 a couple of days.That he missed me.Alot.And that he loves me.You can say whatever you want to say.I say, he is the i want to live with for the rest of my life and have beautiful babies with.
Almost 2 years now.I know him well enough.His jealousy.Ego.Yet its nothing compared to his wonderful and greater side.I freaking miss him alot.Its been 7 month now since his in camp.Only out on weekends.It has thought me alot.Tolerance.Patience.Which i never thought i had untill he went for HTA.Although he's cooped in camp.Im happy to know he's got good buddies inside.He has some fun and entertainment.His stay will be extended till Dec 20 something.its making me cookoo.A month plus to go, keep on smiling like you always do and be positive like you always are.
I love you.
post at 4:24 am
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