My Walk
a Wednesday, October 11, 2006 b
Those days
Shit im suppose to have sahur now.Cant get myself to eat.Not even honey barbequed chicken or stuffed char kway.While typing this, im feeling this deep sinking feeling inside.Something inside makes it feel hollow.Warm, yet hollow.Stepping out of the house doesnt feel right anymore.Eating macdonalds alone suck alot now(we had mac on our first date,simple yet humble)How i wish i'll wake up later this morning turn over to my right or left and be able to rest my head on his chest..Or his stomache..or just tickle him silly.Smell his ketiak whenever i feel like it.How i wish i can make him his favourite egg-mayo everyday.Smack his butt in public whenever i feel the urge to, for no reason.Touch his face when i want to.See him outside my workplace waiting patiently for me to finish closing.He'll wait...not knowing exactly when my shift ends.We quarelled alot during those times though.I was working 12 hr shifts.He was schooling.Although i'd get really tired at the end of the day.The sight and the thought of him fetching me w/o fail each and everyday possible really...only god knows how i feel.
I wish it would rain soon.For it'll bring me back sweet memories.Although a year has past, i will always remember watching him through my bedroom window 3 storeys high.It was pouring.Hiding under his windbreaker carrying a vanguard sheet and a huge marker.Scribbling something.A few seconds later showed it to my direction.I didn't know how to react.Cos i wasnt able to read it.It's too small.Anyways he called to say he wrote down in short how he felt like not being able to meet 4 a couple of days.That he missed me.Alot.And that he loves me.You can say whatever you want to say.I say, he is the i want to live with for the rest of my life and have beautiful babies with.
Almost 2 years now.I know him well enough.His jealousy.Ego.Yet its nothing compared to his wonderful and greater side.I freaking miss him alot.Its been 7 month now since his in camp.Only out on weekends.It has thought me alot.Tolerance.Patience.Which i never thought i had untill he went for HTA.Although he's cooped in camp.Im happy to know he's got good buddies inside.He has some fun and entertainment.His stay will be extended till Dec 20 something.its making me cookoo.A month plus to go, keep on smiling like you always do and be positive like you always are.
I love you.
post at 4:24 am
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a Monday, October 09, 2006 b
2nd hand stuffs
Hi guys!Im about to set up another blog specially for shopping and trading of stuffs.Please support!So do check it out at http://lifestores.blogspot.com/ Thank You!
Bismillah...
post at 12:35 am
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a Sunday, October 08, 2006 b
Droplets
You never fail to shed my tears...tears of joys that is.I love you baby
post at 2:07 pm
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i miss e mic too.
im sumhow irritated. its cnfirmed. but e importnt ppl juz cant stop sayin tis and tat. y cant they juz face e fact tat its happenin n instead of blabberin ABCs of it all,sit down n talk bout HOW n WHEN its gonna happen. im pissed off myself by e uncertainties of e minor details. im a simple man. i try to do things simple.i pray to be able to do it in a simple manner. im clear bout tis - its happenin nxt yr. straight to e big one.and no, its not an occurrence of a mishap.
e question of my sis - will she or will she not - is not helpin e timin of events tat i'd love. malays.it is seriously juz plain malay customs, not islamic. argh!!! and of course i'd love to give arfah e best tat i can. WHERE n WHEN we'll go for e aftermath is up to us.
b4 we even tink deeper, my trainin's been extended...AGAIN.i dun even have a fixed date now.im hopin my passin out wont be in dec,but im preparin myself for it.wat was supposed to be 6mnths,stretched to 8. how nice. nice life inside.a bit mundane nowadays. but its terrible when it comes to wkends.i freakin have 2 days to spend time wit my loved ones.its not 2-3 mnths of bmt. its been 6mnths already,n goin to be 7 or 8 even.i miss everyone. n she's been real undrstandin of e time we spend wit my fam. its been some time since i last went to her plc,n im embarrassed.sumtimes we argue bout e situation,n i can be real freaked out n cursin e 2days i have for my loved ones everywk. if only i can cut myself into many pieces.
mum misses me.e way dad is towards her,its not helpin. i miss em both. my sensitive bro misses me.i feel guilty not spendin time wit him,his wife n my bloved danish n fatin.my sis misses me too, but at least she's got her bf.3 toyols miss me.i miss carryin em on my shoulders. bibik still worries bout wat to cook for me every bookout. my maternal grandma always asks for me, n sumtimes i rarely talk to her when im at hm.i do miss her. im juz bad. n i've nt even talked bout my paternal grndparents.haiz.i miss em all, n i cant wait for e day im no longer a trainee.i can visit my grndparents,my bro,stay home screamin at e toyols,go out wit arfah,go to her plc n feel shy in front of her fam. hehe.
i love u b.thnk u for bearin wit me,n everytin tat comes wit me.my unreasonable side,jealous,egoistic,n etc.hehe.i still fall in love wit u everyday.miss u everyday.both physically n emotionally. ;)
we're gonna take tis walk of ours further baby.only u n me.
p.s:sori ain for belatin ur bday gift.stay sweet always!
post at 2:10 am
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a Friday, October 06, 2006 b
Missing Tupperwares!
People i know says..."its gotta be easy living with only your dad only..aye?no naggings..no siblings conflict.....etc..."...bla bla bla.They tend to think we live a very rugged-kinda-lifestyle.I say NOT!for example...today alone..abah decided to make a really big deal...when he realised one of his precious round Pyrex tupperware is missing in action!.....Out of his 30 piece collection of Lock & Lock, Pyrex tupperwares..one of it is gone..and he made me search for it...so ya..for 30 mins i had to climb on the cabinet and look for it...inside every compartment.Yes...my abah is crazy over tupperwares...big..small..short..tall..oval..glass..plastic..he has them in every sizes possbile.But he doesnt go party tupperware eh.It would be weird kan..?Imagine..Im in a hurry , heading somewhere...when i reach inside the lift,i press the closing door button as furiously...and then this makcik shouts.."Eh tunggu2!.....she slides her palm in between the sliding doors to prevent it from closing and yells..Pah!...besok jgn lupe bilang bapak kau party tupperware pat umah Cik Yam ok?...hehe.Anyways....i had my break-fast at Apiz's place yesterday...w/o him.Went great....lotsa jokes..laughter..but i still have the chills..when in close proximity with Mr Masri Khan..or when he speaks..hmmmm.Encik Apiz pulang nya petang ini...the week went by fast for me..but confirm torturous for him.Whatever it is..i still miss him truckloads.
post at 5:24 pm
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