.:Arfah Othman:.

2009-07-28T01:49:00.003+08:00

The critically-acclaimed director and writer Yasmin Ahmad has passed away.Condolences to the family of the late Yasmin Ahmad.Al-Fatihah.

Whatever happen to Wasurenagusa?...

2009-07-19T02:48:00.003+08:00

Since the hubby is down with chicken pox and alhamdullillah is sleeping very soundly at the moment, i would like to take this opportunity to thank my dearest family without whom my wedding event would not be possible.The preparations, the finance, the every little detail that needs to be attended an amended.

To Mak, who up till now has not even complain once about having to meet up with the caterers, having to make all those trips to Johor for stuffs, for her aching body and tired muscles.For all those last minute cancelation and rescheduling.For every problem of mine that you gave solution to.For making me sane again when ive lost it.For making me whole again.I thank you with all my heart.You are not only a mother, you too are an angel of mine.To Abah who does everything that a father does, to literally just chill and rilek one corner and to also de-tense every tense situations we had throughout the whole pre-wedding period.For agreeing to my request of donning the traditional baju kurung and songkok, complete with the capal and samping.For the never-ending advise you provide me with.Last but not least thank you for solemnizing my marriage to Nor Hafeez.I love you.

To Abg Nuh, for all the time you have sacrifice.For the times i was tired and could not be bothered and you were there to replace.For the times you had to be anal-resistant.For all the request i set upon.For all of your patience i tested with.For all the times you made sure i look good and most importantly proper.For the constant text-ngs of "How's everything?Anything i can do more to help?"I thank you.To Adik, for being there when all i had was tears or laughters.For being brutally honest.For smacking me from the back when you saw me start to slack.For helping mak to help me.For doing whatever i need you to do on my big day.For the palylist, the family list.I hate you at times but i love you most times.To Abg Rizal, for drilling and knocking, plastering and painting my humble bedroom.For making sure nothing will tumble or give way for the wedding night.For the energy you have sacrificed. Well, i rarely say this to you but i thank you and i love you.

To Mak nenek and all my aunties and uncles on my mother's side.Thank you for helping us and especially my mom cook and prepared the puluts ans bunga telur's.Thank you for the birthday cake too.Thank you, thank you for everything.

To my aunties and uncles on my faher's side thank you too for coming and helping out with whatever you could.

To my friends who were there from friday onwards.I truly am sorry for not being able to entertain much, yet you guys did'nt mind. Despite my absence, you guys still kept this friendship strong.I love you guys!Thank you for the website!Love!Love!Love! To those who gave us gifts.There is not a need to, but thank you!We're loving it.

To Mama, for all the times you made sure that we were ok.For all the times you guide us through.For all the times you help us in every way possible.Im very, very thankful to you.Abg Am and Kak Yam, You guys are the best in-laws i could ever ask for.That includes Bapak, Mama, Kak Ina and Abg Nabil too.You guys accepted and welcome me with open arms at the very beginning.In a way you guys help me have a better understanding of what a family really is.

There will be alot of individuals that im missing out on this entry.Please do however forgive me, for every little things that you have done that may directly or indirectly help to run my event.I thank you.For the ones who has sponsored some or many of the items provided in my event.Thank you.Harap halalkan makan minum kedua mempelai dan kesemua tetamu.

Lastly, hubby and i Would like to thank you for all the well wishes and prayers we have receive from all you people put there.Syukur Alhamdullillah everything is well and over.

2009-06-20T00:44:00.004+08:00

For all the times that you tried to talk but i shout.

For all the times you tried to show but i didn't want to see.

For all the times you tried to explain, and i repel.

For all the times you TRIED.

I'm sorry.

Walk me through this alley, will you please?

2009-06-08T02:36:00.004+08:00

I know the many things we did.

I know the many things we lost.

I know the many things we missed.

I know the many things we said,

but this thing

i want you to know,

now and for eternity

is that i am

irrevocably in love

with you.

Love is never in vain,

no matter how steep you have to climb.

2009-06-07T01:40:00.013+08:00

The kiss you plant at the crown of my head.

The smile you carve that's imprint in my head.

The way you grip when i'm swaying and rocking.

The sharp turns you make when i keep digressing.

The jokes that makes me want to laugh and to cry.

The day you've captured this heart,

the very first day that you pry.

I thank you for being,

the net that i need.

I want you to know,

you're the very man,

that i need.

For when i fall and when i slip.

For when i dream of you in my sleep.

Maybe someday,

We'll be able to lock.

The lock of love to the Ponte Vecchio.

.:Arfah:.

2009-05-25T17:00:00.001+08:00

Puncture in the heart.Raw edges that surrounds.Sprinkled with salt.

That's exactly it.

Where's my sunshine?Missing u lots.

King Carlos!

2009-05-17T00:01:00.003+08:00

I have just got to know you not long ago.You make me spend my precious-beauty-sleep-time infront of the telly.I hope you'll stay.20 million??....If i had that kind of money, i'll grab you.

He looks like Ben Stiller, aye?No?

2009-05-07T02:11:00.003+08:00

When im sad.I just stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead.True story.

I wish.

Siete uno e tutto me.

2009-05-05T01:54:00.004+08:00

Someone remind me where was i again?For the past couple of months since my last entry?Been busy chilling, laying-back, taking-it-easy.Yes.That's what ive been doing.Im not regretting.No point aye?I should have got things done instead.Although i truly am happy and content for having reading quite a number of books.Great ones.Let me recall, The Blood of Flowers by Anita Amirrezvani, Yakuza Moon by Shoko Tendo, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, Letters to Sam by Daniel Gottlieb.Things I Want My Daughters To Know by Elizabeth Noble.Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright, and of course the Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, the whole damn addictive-whatever-you-call-it-saga by Stephenie Meyer.As much as i like the movie.I love the novels more.Much, much more.Whoever was the person who leaked that partial draft of Midnight Sun should be executed.Anyways, aside from all that, i have also recently selected my choice of wedding outfits.Will be going for a fitting a week before the big day.Honestly i did not even try to watch my diet nor did i try to shed some weight.Not that i could'nt be bothered, but im just comfortable with the way im shaped, moulded, and created.I love how my body fills up the space.Im looking forward to seeing Hafeez all dressed up on that day.No, i don't have a problem with his laid-back dressing, jerseys and jeans and flip flops.I love him the way he is.Although at times his dressier thn me.Annoying thn me.Nagg-ier(such word?) thn me, because these are all AT RARE TIMES.Whereas im AT ALL TIMES.His patience, his mindfulness, big hearted-ness, his everything.Siete uno e tutto a me.

On a more serious page,

I would also like to offer my sincere apologies to those whom ive hurt along the way.You know who you are.The most important people in my life, without whom i would be incomplete.All that came out of my foul mouth that ugly night was nothing but my desperate plea to let me explain myself.I did'nt handle the situation well.I fell, crashed and burned.However, i have got up and learn to control and manage myself well.I hope to keep on learning and improving.

To this one person that i have hurt so much.That i have injured too much.That i have shamed too much.Im sorry from the bottom of my heart.Those words that i should never have said.Those words that i should jus have kept to myself, im sorry.For you are the person that have promised to keep me safe, keep me company at night while watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother?, introduced me to the twin brothers Rafael who normally play the right-back defender and Fabio Da Silva who is the left-back, surprise me with the rare bouquets of roses, who would let me finish a whole cone of cornetto except the bottom part where it's the nicest , and who would still love me unconditionally.Im sorry to have caused you so much grieve, but please, please know that none was intentional.

2 more months to go.Im psyched, stressed, excited and sad.All for the right reasons, i know.

| . | .. | ..... |

2009-01-22T22:32:00.003+08:00

looks like. probably. it seems. possIbly.

what Are the chances? of one. being struck by lightning. striking lottery. born with a sixth sense. its a concrete jungle and you either be the predator. or the prey. and yet you still have the Melody of silence to deal with.

one iS just a better actOr in his own "Days of Our Lives" show. better pRoduction. betteR screenplaY; and of course better acting.

i'll stick to a chaplin-esque for my own. for i am nvr good with words. my actions stink too.

my love. eternity.

I wish for a thousand more wishes.

2009-01-20T02:41:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

Here i am.I know ive not been the best that i could.I admit, at times i do wish for a miracle.I wished for us to have a better car.I wish for a better pay.I wish to just sit at home and watch DVDs all day.Surf the net every second.I wish i could afford a weekend getaways for every weekend or so.I wish to have a bigger rock.I wish to have a wish that can grant never-ending wishes.That is only only human nature, for we human can never settle with just enough.But still, i am grateful most of the time.Truly bless i am to have someone who appreciates me for who i am, for not wanting me to change one bit about myself.

I love you Nor Hafeez.I truly do.

So, how come?

2009-01-17T01:33:00.006+08:00

Picnic at Botanic?

Hiking at Bukit?

Stay home and cook?

Rent DVDs at Ezy?

Breakfast at Swensen's?

Leave the car and take a long bus ride?

From somewhere to nowhere?

Pick out the Pengantin Room furniture?

Choose the color of OUR ROOM walls?

Go to the Museum?

Play boardgames?

So much we can do, together.So, how come we CAN'T do?

Am missing you still Love.

Excited and Tired

2008-12-21T20:39:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 9 today.Went to JB to get the wedding stuffs.Bunga manggar.Bunga pahar, and lots of bunga's lagi la.It got me excited though.Hope everything will go smoothly Insyaallah.Pray for us too ya.A bit tired for now...want to get some Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Lots of love.....

Arfah

Emotions

2008-12-21T01:19:00.003+08:00

I hate how your face expresses the wrong emotions, yet i can't help but to love you more and more each and every single day.

A concrete post.

2008-12-18T16:49:00.005+08:00

Life is pretty chaotic at times.Full of ups and downs.Unexpected turns.Surprising ending.Painful journey.Heart wrenching moments.Then comes the sweet bitterness from everything.I don't know of anyone that is leading this very same incredibly unexpected life like mine, although I strongly believe there are.I must say that having chose this path to lead in life, is super unbelievable.What are the chances of you marrying your sweetheart at the tender age of 2o?(insyaallah)We however, do fall and fail at times.We try to ammend, but only to make it worse.We're very young and still very much have the egocentric-ness in us.In a heated arguments we sometimes may accidentally spew out some words that puts us deeply in regret, once everything is settled and we re-cap what happened, then we feel remorse.Running out of patience is lethal.A very lethal subtance, in this case a weapon, that once loaded and triggered can destroy whatever you've built.Now, this is where the foundation matters.Just like a building.It takes quite awhile to build one.You need to soil-test the area.What kind of concrete goes best with what type of soil, or whether you need to dig out the wet ground and add rubbles.That is just to be concretely sure that the foundation is concretely concrete.Like facial wise.You need sometime to put make up on.Be it liquid or powder.It's still foundation.You do however, need to get the right one that goes with your skin type, 'else you end up with a disastrous situation.For now.......

let's have that cup of coffee and let loose

or call somebody today and make their day.

.:Arfah:.

Where to go?

2008-12-14T23:50:00.005+08:00

Can't wait.Can't wait for off day on Tuesday.I've a really big smile on my face right now.Although i've yet to get the Xmas gift for my colleagues.Just for the fun of it.Today is the last day of a 1 week leave for him.HAHA.Next is my 1 day off plus 2 RPH.Can't wait.Time to soak my feet.

I miss Baiyoke la sayang, when can we go again?

Patience....patience

2008-12-13T23:34:00.005+08:00

Had a very FULLfilling supper at Lau Pa Sat yesterday night.Thank You to Nor Hafeez for the treat hor!The Whole Confusing Family is there.Yes.BAM too.Brought along his girlfriend.Ili.Nice to meet ya!anyways i had a not-very exciting day at work today.Someone better split that head of hers open soon or she'll definitely WILL i repeat, WILL REGRET it.Someone better teach her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.To the highest degree.For she is being such a snobbish, self-centred, self-absorb MONKEY.People have opinions you see.OUR own opinions.If there is not a standardized way to do it, then use your COMMON SENSE.I don't expect alot from you, but please show me some respect.I welcome you from wherever you are.I don't say shit about you , your country or your ever so shitty people.Ok?It's a bloody loophole ok?Has got nothing to do with your own personal feeling.

Everyone wants people to have an opinion of themselves.Good or bad.Everyone wants to be their own HEROES in their own narrative.

Anyways,

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY DARWISH!

Rohani and Rohana with her numbers.

2008-12-10T03:32:00.002+08:00

Just came back from watching Muallaf.Well actually i came back from kampung yesterday evening, went to Nor Hafeez's later that night, went to Our Singapore Zoological Garden this morning with the cousins and FMIL(futuremom in law)and of course the little tots!

clearing my '07 leave plus the Haj holiday plus my off days.Anyways, somebody has got a very strong view of Muallaf.I did't regret watchin it with you.Although it was clear cut that you hate Yasmin's guts.Next is Talentime.Malay girl and Indian boy.views?

Really got alot to talk about but ive got mixed feelings at the moment.Crampy as well.Feel free to browse around.

http://arfahhafeez.shutterfly.com/

The Works!My Favourite Things & People at Random!

2008-11-24T23:39:00.017+08:00

The Ocassional Surprise!

My at-times confusing Family.

My floating pic!haha.

Random Roadtrips.

My kampung.

My silly father(Happy 60th abah!)

Our worldly possession.

J.Co Donuts.The donuts that soothe away all bitterness.

Nor Hafeez.The person who made everything possible.I love you.

Apart from all this.I thank God.For letting me wake up to another beautiful day and to breathe the air that he provides me with.To see the people i love.To do the things i love.To cherish what He has bestow upon me.Alhamdullilah.

p/s:Get well soon Ms Jet!

Life Works...?

2008-11-24T00:26:00.005+08:00

Life has it's ups and downs.More often thn not we prefer things to go the way we want.Well i know its impossible to be my way everyday.Life works in a way that we can never understand.Sometimes we could be walking.Thn the next thing we know, we're falling down down down.Thn at times when we get all tense up, Things start to fall at the right place and at the right time.What i wish for now is to de-tense.A foot massage maybe?No?Well, a full body massage would do me some good.Really do me much good!Thn i'll be able to SMILE my way thru LIFE aye?

We're good baby!

2008-11-21T22:53:00.004+08:00

Hi all.According to the sis there ARE people who view this blog of mine.Will try to update as much as i can.Much apologies.Whats going on in our life right now?Well have just selected our dream unit in our dream estate.Punggol Breeze it is.Hello! to all my future Breezers.Time is passing so fast.9 mths to go be hubby and wifey.eeewww........not the ideal term.whatever it is.hopefully everything will go as plan and as smooth as possible.Although there tend to be slight glitches.Only slightly i hope.Insyaallah.

Dear God...

2008-09-11T00:55:00.001+08:00

please smoothen this ride for us............

Dongol

2008-05-29T00:23:00.003+08:00

Burrppppppp!.........Alhamdullillah...Very full.Just got back from Swensen's At T2.Service was good.Food was as good.Belated anniversary eh b?Too bad not much time together.Am looking forward to this Sunday tho!Picnic at the Zoo? Or shall we go crazy with the GSS??

Anyways, at work today i met a very STUPID(someone who does not know the meaning of something yet chose to use the term/word anyways) middle-aged chinese male.He thought that if he bought a not-so-new item on a shelve and bring it home to let his child play with.He or she could get infected with HIV.

This was what he yelled out to my colleague.

"Walau!...if HIV people touch touch oledi how?My chu-ren die liao!"

Feel like farting on his face.

CAR-BREAKING INCIDENT

2008-05-27T14:54:00.004+08:00

Funny how i was all calm & cool. I was wrong when i said, it had'nt sunk into me yet. 'Cos, it never did. Guess the trust is too concrete. Never had a single worry. Hope its the same for you.

je t'aime....

Tunnel.No.Not that TUNNEL.

2008-04-16T00:56:00.004+08:00

Too much is going on. Too many happenings. Distractions. Work. Stress.(somehow stress always come after work, aye?) Feel as though we're in KPE...A zillion times longer. Worse is? We're only able to drive thru at 50 instead of 70. Freaking long way to go. Just for that beautiful sunshine. Would not it be wonderful if we can do something at the very thought of it. Without having to weight matters out. Just know that, we want it, we love it, we wanna live like it. But then again, reality bites. At times, life doesn't make sense. Can we elevate up? Instead of crawling thru?

Patience where are you...........?

KL Menjerit

2008-04-11T00:09:00.006+08:00

Not feeling wordy tonight.

Just let the pictures do the talking.

This is for you Sunny Xiaojie!

more pictures soon............................................

Ni kan kan hor.......

Happy 34th baby.

2007-12-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

HEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO cyberwordl! Its been nearly a year since we last logged on.

Cos the pc crashed hence no internet for a very long long time.No worries though!We finally got our hands on this Blazingred Sony Vaio baby!

Lots of things happen this year.LOADS i tell you.RANDOMS:

Kak Ina got married(Apiz's sis)
She was confirmed pregnant early this evening.CONGRATS!

My family had our first ever Kadir reunion.Very The Rare.

Me and Apiz just celebrated our 1st year of being engage.

He's been a really great fiance.

We got our Baby Swift.

Finally signed up for the RH and DECORAMA packages.

And its been a lovely 2007.....

The forever smiling Nor Hafeez.
The new me.

The new US.

HAPPY 34TH MONTH BABY!

haPPY 23RD

2007-01-26T13:17:00.000+08:00

Soccer tomorrow.i don't know who vs who?what time, and where?I don't watch balls, i play balls.Ok suddenly very salah lor.Anyway im still goin tho', to accompany the abang mah.To those who are going too...jangan lupe HI! okay.

Before i forget.

HAPPY 23RD ANNI BABY!........

tok kadi nak dtg tak?

2007-01-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

Am i goin to be the first to get hitch?Im the 2nd youngest oi. tho its not as fancy .im proud of e these hantarans that i made BY myself eh.
Black and silver theme demand by Apiz,tapik kan my uncle last min give me hamper oso..got gold and red somemore(aku tau la bini kau cine kan)..tapik alhamdullillah rezki org blk 79 kan..bnyk pulak tu chocolates.
if i cud i wanted to invite the tok kadi skalik....nikah kan terus...
tapik mak abah kate..bersabarlah....amek KURSUS RUMAHTANGGA DULU!......hehhehehehe

cake for the other side....sungguh tak traditional kan...sponsored by my sis Ein frm coffee bean.me and apiz love it tho.

Engaged!

2006-12-26T16:33:00.000+08:00

Goodness it was a really hectic and chaotic affair last weekend!......I got ENGAGED!.....its a small affair for close fammily and friends.Alhamdullillah everything went on smoothly....do visit..http://wawaz.multiply.com/ for pics..hehe(muke2 busuk yg penat segale)...

ANyways....

HAppy Anniversary baby!....

2006-12-09T01:27:00.000+08:00

senyap kan....i cnt be bothered to update pun.bored ok.im like waiting for something to happen.anything??........at all?....

forget it.ill carry on wit Tony Parson's instead.

2006-12-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

headed down to bedok int awhile ago.looks like everyones in the festive spirit.decked out in nice outfit top to toe.while me...just passing e cam to my bro who obviously is fab-ly dress.wit scarf round e neck segale.wud be nice to just go out in my best attire dining and just absorb e festive mood.but thn again...e money is tighten for other purpose already.ben jerry's by e beach?.....guess ill just have to find joy in lil husky boy.

till thn...oh my can e year pass quickly?....

By your side

2006-11-15T23:02:00.001+08:00

You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----ohhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

oh, when your cold
I'll be there to hold you tight to me
When your on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, your so much better than you know
When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home

If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyesand in no time you'll be fine

You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when your down on your knees
I wouldn't do that

I'll do you right when your wrong
I-----I, ohhhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

Oh when your cold
I'll be there To hold you tight to me
Oh when your alone
I'll be there by your side baby

(Sade)

missing you baby............

Yes?No?

2006-11-15T00:21:00.000+08:00

hmmmmm.... mini me-ees?nah!.......They're my lovely cousins my parents are carrying.Aku boleh imagine my kids...for girl-curly kembang-ala beyonce hair.mocha caramel skin-mcm Oprah describe Beyonce.Very sociable, will jump up to you when approach.wahaha.for boy-cute small eyes,Loves soccer.Will run and hide when approach.Malu2 kucing.CET!!....mcm nak create Sims baby kan.hehe.Asalkan sihat alhamdullillah.But Mak Abah!--Wait long long hor!

2006-11-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

What makes you want to wake up and get off your bed?What makes you want to face a whole new day?To achieve something?To do better thn before?To chase after something that doesnt guarantee you happines?If you strike now.What makes you sure that it wont flop?They say strike later.When it matures.What makes you sure that its going to turn all right.Is it because they say you have to get everything before you be a somebody.Be somewhere, or your life's a waste.Life is about getting somewhere, achieving great things.Life is also about looking at the time and be immersed in every minute of it.You want to be different.But everyone IS different.If you start chasing.rushing.running, for a certain something which i call 'earthly possessions' .When the hell are you going to get to enjoy life itself?Take a minute, take a moment and simply understand what life is all about.But who am i to tell you what YOUR life is all about.For me.I want to live happy, contented, simple.Yes its plain and boring, but hey when im happy!Who's complaining?

Anyways.....

Kanasai la.7 bloody percent??Eh pkm! kam sia lu hor!.Like abah said 'kakak kau la'...wth?how sia?....Please consider the middle-class communities la.GST increase.Better service?..I'd rather put em groceries in the pastics my own self.

2006-11-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Glad to know he's got great buddies inside.I miss u baby!u hear?!

Not licensed

2006-11-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

The important people came...the other set of family.Discussions...discussions.Alhamdullillah everything went well.

.....Come 25th Dec....

fantastic 5?

2006-11-01T16:37:00.000+08:00

To the ones i meet twice a year..................you guys make me feel we're still in 3G.

Ring or not.

2006-11-01T15:57:00.000+08:00

You didnt say.Yet, somehow deep down i feel the guilt.Nobody's to be blame.yet, it seems everybody's trying to get involved.It could be for the best, could be for the worse.Yes i know they've shown the concerns and yet they let us decide on our own.Cos its our own bloody future.In a way they're like playin a game with us.Take the sweet, but not much.Cos its bad for you teeths.But if you like it.Then why not????.We're not gonna get trap in thos games you've laid.I respect you all.As fathers.Mothers.Brothers.Sisters.Relatives.Some are excited and happy and advising.Which i greatly welcome.Some...just cant bloody make up their minds.Im the representative for the decision made from my side.If the lalangs sways to the right.Right i must say.If it sways to the left, left it goes.ITS not just gonna involved 2 person.It takes the rest of the lot to back us up.From the start i have never thought it would be an easy task to achieve.Im right.IT isn't.Don't worry a single bit.My feet are firmly rooted to the ground.Unless u take these roots out and shred them.I know your excited and you show it.Im excited too.Just that if im not showing, ive other importants stuffs to think for like how we can spead the confidence and trust in them.

still be blogging while feeding fishes.insyaallah

Those days

2006-10-11T04:24:00.000+08:00

Shit im suppose to have sahur now.Cant get myself to eat.Not even honey barbequed chicken or stuffed char kway.While typing this, im feeling this deep sinking feeling inside.Something inside makes it feel hollow.Warm, yet hollow.Stepping out of the house doesnt feel right anymore.Eating macdonalds alone suck alot now(we had mac on our first date,simple yet humble)How i wish i'll wake up later this morning turn over to my right or left and be able to rest my head on his chest..Or his stomache..or just tickle him silly.Smell his ketiak whenever i feel like it.How i wish i can make him his favourite egg-mayo everyday.Smack his butt in public whenever i feel the urge to, for no reason.Touch his face when i want to.See him outside my workplace waiting patiently for me to finish closing.He'll wait...not knowing exactly when my shift ends.We quarelled alot during those times though.I was working 12 hr shifts.He was schooling.Although i'd get really tired at the end of the day.The sight and the thought of him fetching me w/o fail each and everyday possible really...only god knows how i feel.

I wish it would rain soon.For it'll bring me back sweet memories.Although a year has past, i will always remember watching him through my bedroom window 3 storeys high.It was pouring.Hiding under his windbreaker carrying a vanguard sheet and a huge marker.Scribbling something.A few seconds later showed it to my direction.I didn't know how to react.Cos i wasnt able to read it.It's too small.Anyways he called to say he wrote down in short how he felt like not being able to meet 4 a couple of days.That he missed me.Alot.And that he loves me.You can say whatever you want to say.I say, he is the i want to live with for the rest of my life and have beautiful babies with.

Almost 2 years now.I know him well enough.His jealousy.Ego.Yet its nothing compared to his wonderful and greater side.I freaking miss him alot.Its been 7 month now since his in camp.Only out on weekends.It has thought me alot.Tolerance.Patience.Which i never thought i had untill he went for HTA.Although he's cooped in camp.Im happy to know he's got good buddies inside.He has some fun and entertainment.His stay will be extended till Dec 20 something.its making me cookoo.A month plus to go, keep on smiling like you always do and be positive like you always are.

I love you.

2nd hand stuffs

2006-10-09T00:35:00.000+08:00

Hi guys!Im about to set up another blog specially for shopping and trading of stuffs.Please support!So do check it out at http://lifestores.blogspot.com/ Thank You!

Bismillah...

Droplets

2006-10-08T14:07:00.000+08:00

You never fail to shed my tears...tears of joys that is.I love you baby

i miss e mic too.

2006-10-08T02:10:00.000+08:00

im sumhow irritated. its cnfirmed. but e importnt ppl juz cant stop sayin tis and tat. y cant they juz face e fact tat its happenin n instead of blabberin ABCs of it all,sit down n talk bout HOW n WHEN its gonna happen. im pissed off myself by e uncertainties of e minor details. im a simple man. i try to do things simple.i pray to be able to do it in a simple manner. im clear bout tis - its happenin nxt yr. straight to e big one.and no, its not an occurrence of a mishap.

e question of my sis - will she or will she not - is not helpin e timin of events tat i'd love. malays.it is seriously juz plain malay customs, not islamic. argh!!! and of course i'd love to give arfah e best tat i can. WHERE n WHEN we'll go for e aftermath is up to us.

b4 we even tink deeper, my trainin's been extended...AGAIN.i dun even have a fixed date now.im hopin my passin out wont be in dec,but im preparin myself for it.wat was supposed to be 6mnths,stretched to 8. how nice. nice life inside.a bit mundane nowadays. but its terrible when it comes to wkends.i freakin have 2 days to spend time wit my loved ones.its not 2-3 mnths of bmt. its been 6mnths already,n goin to be 7 or 8 even.i miss everyone. n she's been real undrstandin of e time we spend wit my fam. its been some time since i last went to her plc,n im embarrassed.sumtimes we argue bout e situation,n i can be real freaked out n cursin e 2days i have for my loved ones everywk. if only i can cut myself into many pieces.

mum misses me.e way dad is towards her,its not helpin. i miss em both. my sensitive bro misses me.i feel guilty not spendin time wit him,his wife n my bloved danish n fatin.my sis misses me too, but at least she's got her bf.3 toyols miss me.i miss carryin em on my shoulders. bibik still worries bout wat to cook for me every bookout. my maternal grandma always asks for me, n sumtimes i rarely talk to her when im at hm.i do miss her. im juz bad. n i've nt even talked bout my paternal grndparents.haiz.i miss em all, n i cant wait for e day im no longer a trainee.i can visit my grndparents,my bro,stay home screamin at e toyols,go out wit arfah,go to her plc n feel shy in front of her fam. hehe.

i love u b.thnk u for bearin wit me,n everytin tat comes wit me.my unreasonable side,jealous,egoistic,n etc.hehe.i still fall in love wit u everyday.miss u everyday.both physically n emotionally. ;)
we're gonna take tis walk of ours further baby.only u n me.

p.s:sori ain for belatin ur bday gift.stay sweet always!

Missing Tupperwares!

2006-10-06T17:24:00.000+08:00

People i know says..."its gotta be easy living with only your dad only..aye?no naggings..no siblings conflict.....etc..."...bla bla bla.They tend to think we live a very rugged-kinda-lifestyle.I say NOT!for example...today alone..abah decided to make a really big deal...when he realised one of his precious round Pyrex tupperware is missing in action!.....Out of his 30 piece collection of Lock & Lock, Pyrex tupperwares..one of it is gone..and he made me search for it...so ya..for 30 mins i had to climb on the cabinet and look for it...inside every compartment.Yes...my abah is crazy over tupperwares...big..small..short..tall..oval..glass..plastic..he has them in every sizes possbile.But he doesnt go party tupperware eh.It would be weird kan..?Imagine..Im in a hurry , heading somewhere...when i reach inside the lift,i press the closing door button as furiously...and then this makcik shouts.."Eh tunggu2!.....she slides her palm in between the sliding doors to prevent it from closing and yells..Pah!...besok jgn lupe bilang bapak kau party tupperware pat umah Cik Yam ok?...hehe.Anyways....i had my break-fast at Apiz's place yesterday...w/o him.Went great....lotsa jokes..laughter..but i still have the chills..when in close proximity with Mr Masri Khan..or when he speaks..hmmmm.Encik Apiz pulang nya petang ini...the week went by fast for me..but confirm torturous for him.Whatever it is..i still miss him truckloads.

kepingin

2006-09-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

Well....at least someone's got plan for NYE!dah kepingin kan kau b nak grab e mike back.....anyways the photos above are taken from SG Hip-hop Fest '05
wayyyyyyyyyyyy.....back before i even knew we were once in the same sec school....haha..Mcm gitu la aku...!

Patience.......

2006-09-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

wednesday thursday....FRIDAY!.....B book out! 8 wks more for baby in HTA.patience..patience..

btw....B??..........catalogue for u below.HAHA.I WISH!

Black and silver?

2006-09-18T19:05:00.000+08:00

Alright..22nd?23rd?or 24th?...exactly when does the puasa starts?ergh!...too fast!....anyways B, i dont mind your working hours at all and i try to be real understanding when fucked up situation happens. But 3 weekends of family functions??..im sooooooo soooooooooorrryy that as a human my typical flaw is to blow up.You know me, i dont blow to pieces..just inflicting enough to kill a dog?I promise to adapt myself to your family's functions..gatherings..celebrations...I understand that your family is a celebratory unit.Mine isnt, and is a very...very...very...small unit at that.But that doesnt mean i don't enjoy it right?Infact i find it interesting..happening..and jovial.I love it baby.Just that at times i feel inferior.It doesnt have to do with your family at all.Just that the timing isnt good.And, untill we get..******(3 mths+, INSYAALLAH) i will still have that paiseh feeling.Silly i know.We talked about this , just having some closure issues.Moving on..........

I read something about bags galore down there..ape B?Im not materialistic eh.But are you still getting me bags nxt month?????...though i gave in to my temptations and bought that red sadle we saw?IM SORRRYYY!!heh....anyways...i cant wait for you to post out.Your irregular working hours are driving me insane.I know its impossible for me to have my personal abg polis di bawah ketiak ku 24/7.Never mind la, as long as you love what your doing and your the benefits are great for your future and mine.And as long as your happy.Im triple the happiness.Work hard ok baby...good performance...good money..good money....MORE BAGS???..

.....To our dearest family and wonderful friends we hope for your countless and sincere blessings.Insyaallah if everything goes as plan we'll be blogging a great piece of entry soon enough.

arfah bacin tetap hot!

2006-09-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

bila dua2 malas nak update, boring la blog ini menjadi.

anyway,been stayin out of camp for e past 2wks.goin bck in on e 25th sept.till then, i've got s2006 n divisional duties.a nice temporary change of environment frm home team academy. as a result, i can see ms arfah bacin more often these days. but for e past 2 wkends,time's been squeezed by cousin weddings n come tis wkend,my niece's cukur rambut.nxt wkend da puasa....

sori cik adik intan payung yg tersayang...harap bersabar dgn free time yg tak tertentu hidup saya ini.hopefully we'll cope better once i get my ass posted out.i promise u'll have ur own bags galore nxt mnth baby.

btw,i was "disturbed" by a homosexual pervert juz now.said i was handsome n he gave me a freaky smile while ridin his bicycle.even stopped to wave at me n gesturin for me to follow him. wtf?!?! sudah kali ketiga.nuthin against homosexuals. juz those perverts.no use sayin im handsome or askin whether my dick have grown big enough to join u jerk off to gay porn shit. im still straight, and as for e handsome part...my girl tells me tat on every 12th of e month. =)

p.s: im growin tired of ppl sayin my face dun look 20.they say i look like 15-17 yrs old boy. ok la. wat e heck.

This is his calling....Insyaallah.

2006-08-30T01:45:00.000+08:00

I thank God for this amazing journey he plan for me.The ups and downs.The testing of patience, and faith in him.But as of now, i sense he has a greater plan for me ahead.Even when i was high in fantasy.Even when at a point of time, i din really achknowledge his existence and never did as what a Muslim is expected to do.He still has had me going this far, untouched.For everything he gave.He takes some back.For everything we gain.WE lose some back.Our body is only a loan, and only he decides when the time is up.

I pray for the best for the both of us.That everything goes as plan.And am grateful for all the blessings we've got.Alhamdullillah.

hush...

2006-08-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog, but juz not in e mood. been some time. i miss my girl.

delete e adjectives,n u'll get e facts.

Assallamualaikum..

2006-08-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

Oh boy, its been awhile huh.Over the past 18 months alot of things have happened and changed.For the past 4 months alot has been argued about, taken, given, hurt, forgotten, gained, lost and most especially MISSED.At times, i give up.At times i think they, he, she, i dont deserve this, that.There is a point of time i can't see the dreams and plans that i have work out.Still, ive got only this to say.Im loving each and every single task, obstacle thrown at me.For im only gaining more once i pass thru it.For each door that closes.Two more opens eh?anyways, really praying for Hafeez to finish training by mid October isyaallah.i say..he's tanned enuff and trained enuff.Please just come back soon ok b.i miss ur armpits!...i know my brother's gonna drop on e floor and squiggle like a worm and roll his eyes when he's readin tis but...yeah..i miss u!

to my brother, Nok i wud really appreciate it if u can wait awhile for me to get married before u bring a girl home...please???...i wud get pissed of ur divided attention.

He never judge nor gives up.

2006-07-25T10:14:00.000+08:00

Im not one who complains about having a perfect family.I do pour out my troubles here, but i always tell myself that at the end of the day they're still the one i love.The fact that everything happens for reason, always helps me feel better.I never stop praying for my parents to fall for each other again after almost 11 yrs of divorce.I know millions are out there praying for the same miracle to happen.I don't mind having to shift back and forth between my mom's and dad's place, and i don'tmind having to share a limited space of flooring at my mom's with my other 3 siblings to sleep on.I know billiions are out there praying for a roof to shelter their childrens.I don't mind the extreme lacking of privacy at my mom's(only a living hall, a kitchen and toilet), cos i know millions are out there living their life at refugee camps with a million of others.I don't mind having to save my every last cent of school pocket money spent on groceries.Then, if i shift back to my dad's.I don't mind being alone majority of the time.I don't mind not havin internet.i don't mind having to cook every single morning for abah.I don't mind having to do the chores all alone, not having any siblings around to help out.I don't mind spending my time yakking and yakking away with abah infront of the TV with Nat Geo on and even if ive run out of the lamest thing to talk about, i'd keep yakking away just to let him know im never bored with him.I'd sit beside him and let him know that i love him.Yet, i know alot of you guys out thr try your best to keep a distance away from your dear fathers.I should not complain, bcos all this what kept me sane was HIM.No matter how hard my PMS hits him.He won't keep his distance from me.Instead he gets even closer to me and calms me down.Even when i get really uncontrollable and start saying really nasty stuffs to him, he still loves me.He is just ordinary.He is just another soul with a beautiful and really really really big heart and much patience.Anybody would be proud to have him as a friend, a brother, a son.He has never once judge me.He has never once gave up on me.He is a cancerian.He is a domesticated person.He is protector.He is my one and only Nor Hafeez.
Grow old with me baby?

operasi patuk ular

2006-07-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

lay ur head on my shoulder n sleep,drool as much as u want.i'll make sure no one sees.

leave all e blusher n eyeliner stains u want on my tops. they can be washed.

let it all out when u cry. i'll wipe those tears off ur cheeks.

and if u ever give out a loud fart in public, dun worry. i'll make sure everyone tink it was me.

p.s:tell ur dad e lurkin real-life snake is ready to make its move anytime tis yr. hehe. i love u bacin.

apiz "tak bacin"

Grudges?too bad for u, im feeling greeeeeeat!

2006-07-19T11:07:00.000+08:00

Goooooooooooooood morning people.......

3 days ago i felt so relieved for clearing up my wardrobe.It use to contain alot of unwanted stuffs..e shirts that no longer has e original color..or has frayin threads all over..or looks horribly ugly.Then i found socks..socks which ive been looking for, for ages.i know i shud put them aside and give it away to those in need.But i know that day wont come..cos its always like that.The last time i cleared, i put them in paperbags..a few days later my dad wud rummage thru n ask me to place them back in my wardrobe cos apparently to him..they still look good and can be worn at home.Well bah...ive thrown each and every single piece thats of no use to me anymore.While he was in e shower, i dumped evrything in a huge plastic then threw it in e rubbish chute.Yes i did it!....hah..very relieve.

Anyways..recently i called Nas(ex-bestfriend)jus wanted to know how she's doing.I wish her all e best in school and wit Amin.Met Cik Idah..my old neighbour...e ice-cream apek..who never fail to make e ding ding bell sound under my block at 2 o'clock everday.The sheng shiong nyonyas...Yes...its e BEDOK PEOPLE!!....e last time i stayed thr was like e last Raya,but now im back thr...for good?...hmmmm its reallly100x hard to say.My life, my family is random.Even this entry.

B,.............................4 more months to go.Im still here waiting.Love u.

2006-07-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

My condolences to those who have lost the love ones due to the recent Tsunami.May their soul rest in peace.

On a better note:

Congratulations to Kak Yam & family on e birth of a new addition of a baby girl......the net is up & going again...yeay..??

till e day...

2006-07-08T02:52:00.000+08:00

i guess it is. it hurts bad noein u cnt make ur loved one happy.how stupid i may have been. no amount of apologies will ever take away e guilty conscience.i loved,love n will always love. you.

she's not a bitch. u're e pussy who reads our writings wit no balls to use ur own name. call me anytin u want. she's no bitch.

Congrats b!

2006-07-07T10:38:00.000+08:00

yesterday event was fun....e journey to Sp was more exciting tho'.i think i blab alot.sorry eh cik may but u jus made me excited making me describing bout babah, my life...my family.ur jus like my personal cousellor thank u.dun worry ur son wont have much to do to please him.i tink he already has please him enuff.oh ya, i shud have wore red jus like u eh cik.so i wont have to sit twisted..n worry bout leakage.ci se!.of all days....it has to come yesterday.btw b...ur very in e relak jack mode yesterday.all male graduands wore a tie....n u?......traded for e police buckle instead eh.heh....anyways...Congratulations Nor Hafeez Masri Khan.

im not sure if any of his friends reads our blog regularly...but..
i wud like to throw a big smile and a hi!..to Liza i tot i saw u..wanted to say hi..tapi paiseh.heh.Congrats too...and tc!

2006-07-07T10:11:00.000+08:00

the 'story of you and i' couple

the farmer who nourished this young seedling(heh)
receiving the empty red thingy(cnt rmbr wat its called)

rashes rashes n more

2006-07-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

i guess its gonna b an early day for me tmrw...gotta go Novena thn off to SP for Apiz's graduation sumtin-sumtin.hmmmmm im not sure wat to wear.i noe i got lots to wear...but i jus dun FEEL any..u noe wat i mean?and yes ive got rashes all over my neck.ergh..anyways....3 more days to go ..and 9 more for me.hmmmm...CANCERIANS.ok tis entry is random.....todays Oprah seems exciting...gotta go watch!

psstt....i miss u sayang.....

2006-07-04T12:57:00.000+08:00

is tis a chimp?...not really sure...but he's e cutest monyet ever!heh.

11.07.09?........tiffany rock for THE band?...baby..?

2006-07-03T15:12:00.000+08:00

as usual e weekends are spent at babah's.cleaned up a bit dust off a bit,wash a bit.now its like e weekend house.dad bought a new fridge..cos e current one is partially spoilt.but before tat i spent e whole day wit apiz...went to e beach, i had made his all time fattening fav. egg mayo..its real easy to do..also y i was rajin enuff to make took a few shots...awww..im missing him already....half n hr or so at e beach...he ask me a qns.....which ive kept..or shud i say....wasnt truthfull about..for e past 16 mths.oh yes.....watever it is id rather keep it between us..i was pissed...at him..(bitch.i am i know)...cos i was nervous... scared...EMBARRASSED....b, i appreciate it that u really keep to ur words of lettin e past go....and accepting me..BIG TIME.i truly apologise.i am realllllyyyyy relief....to have told u e truth....becasue thr is nothing more grateful thn having to know neither me nor u have anitin hidden between us.and that u know everything about me now....thn after all tis....we spent an amazing and wonderful..cosy and comfy evening together.

to mak...

i guess u just have to learn to let go and move on.i may not be in ur position but i may know well enuff to kick e ass of an ARSE.he doesnt treat u right...isnt thr for u..he truly doesnt deserve u.To M_S_I S_L_K_N....oh screw u!..i wish my mom cud see herself in the mirror...like how we her children see her cry in her sleep often.finally u haf come to ur senses...and put a stop to ur
sufferings.

b..?(i cant help but see e resemblance ok)

Dont wanna think.I just wanna shoot!

2006-06-27T13:26:00.001+08:00

yes...i confess..ive a new love interest.....b, if u happen to read this by any chance(heh) i just wanna tell u i love the ColorFLash LOMO cam....http://www.lomographyasia.com/shop/?showproduct=Colorsplash_Camera .$123.47 its great.its takes beautiful shots b! yes!..!....(ala-ala white revolver kan?!)..........

i love u b!i love u syg!i love love love u!u have are most generous kindest GENEROUS loving man!MUAX!MUAX!MUAX!*hint hint*

for more of other LOMO cams-http://www.lomographyasia.com/shop/

2006-06-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

This entry is a shout out to my whole family.You guys have been e best.E ones who pull me thru...e ones who knows my deepest darkest secrets.When i quit school, when i smoke, played truants, lari rumah(frm my dad's to my mom's place)...played truant again, gue nyaris2 hanyut.when i rebel, when i pierce my tongue and ..when i come home really late...when i lied and u found out.

(Picture not that nice, but that moment was e best, e first ever time he bonded wit abah)

aye, hold on...wait..

goodness i was and still am a teenager..young adult?who doesnt go thru and pass thos phase?i noe my mom did(she went to a girls home)..my dad did...he used to smoke marijuana..he used to drink..(well he stop when he married my mom)..my brothers...oh lets not even start..my sister?..shes doing all e mistake i did...she's falling yet learning..im guiding..while im blogging all nite..thr are kids out thr doing drugs..secret society shit..violence.I may have i messed up one or two guy's heart(random)..well yang sudah tu sudah bukan?(hehe..sori feeling big bro from BS)..maybe it was meant to be...u noe tats y i met Hafeez..fate?well....im not sure.i just pray for more blessings frm families..friends..unknowns..kate2 itu semue doa bukan?Alhamdullillah..terima kasih.im grateful that the ones who has seen me fall..and kept falling..gave me other opportunities to rise and learn.i learn that EGO brings u nowhere.To accept and make e best of everything...and that if one person bitch about me, ill feel heavy frm all e pahale i get in return of e dosa he/she gets.To be grateful and more appreciative of my earthly possessions.

and to Hafeez,

for u to know everything about me,is a milestone ahead.Ive told u everything i can remember, all the back stabbing, heart wrenching, ugliest, embarrassing shitty stuffs.If i have missed out on anything..(if its true)im sorry.But the day u told me u accept my past and won't bring any of it up, and that u love me for who i am now...thats e day a huge part of my hearts attaches to urs.

I Love You Hafeez

HAPPY SIXTEENTH ANNIVERSARRY.

no matter wat.

2006-06-24T01:38:00.001+08:00

4 more wks before i can drive on e road. 7 more wks of satrdays/sndays at national stad. hopefully things will get better b. we can have an xtra day together durin e wkends. thnk u for ur patience n for u to bear wit all these, i really appreciate it.

i dun care whether its on for end of e yr, nxt yr, 2008 or even 2009. dun worry. my love for u has no expiry date on it(god willing), as far as i noe. i feel so blessed to have u in my life. all e small & big things u do, they mean e world to me. everytime i miss u while in camp, i look at all those cards u did for me. everytime i come home,i look at e frame u did up for me. i tell myself im e luckiest guy on tis planet to be loved by u.

anyone else readin tis...yes we two are livin in a world of our own. hehe. cheers!

p.s: i love u b! juz e two of us.

2006-06-20T15:30:00.000+08:00

Darwish Shawqi.Beautiful big eyes.Beautiful love.

2006-06-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

alright i admit it.its getting taxing.i really appreciate what u are doing for me now.i can never thank u enough....even when we get married, even when im carrying ur child inside my tum tum, even if i become the wife who cooks u each meal ,the kind of wife who gives e subservient smiles when he wants to be right..it can never ever accumulate to wat u have done for me.I thank u so much baby...and for this i surrender u my heart..all e love that i can shower u wit..

Hafeez, this entry is for u.It took u less thn a year and half to decide to leap into a lifetime wit me,and it took me less thn a minute and a half to YES!!!!'tho we can only realisticly(such words meh?) realise this in a minimum of 3 yrs(yes we wanna start young).u've caused me so much hype and adrenaline.u made me realise how precious and beautiful life is.u made me ponder and reflect...to be appreciative of my earthly possessions.I feel truly grateful that ALLAH has guided me to where i am today and for blessing me wit a man who showers me wit his love and affection constantly.you came when i least expected it.Thank u for ur limitless, endless patience wit facing my too numerous faults.thank u for having the COURAGE..when it made more sense to GO AWAY.

I LOVE YOU

Arfah

JAKARTA next?

2006-06-15T16:28:00.000+08:00

B,
im missing u so much.
much love baby.

it was a surprise to receive a call from ur brother...haha apparently not.its ur sil b.hheheh......thn she went on to pass e phone to her sister....she's asking me bout e accomodation back in BKK...e place.wah...jealous aku nak pergi lagik....well maybe JAKARTA next?...... ...i think its best to go bare.i mean go for evertything budget...unless ur father is a drug lord or a loanshark....i mean e best food are on e streets.........e best is to go bag-pack for me.'tho i get home sick fast(hate it).....i wud love to travel places.wit my baby.

2006-06-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

Yasmin Ahmad's 'Mukhsin' has yet to be screened in SG.Yet she's another film going on.It potrays a love life of a bangladeshi and a filipino maid.Gonna be shot right here in SG.Cant wait.I love this woman for her brains, courage and lots more.she turns e table around.so Erma, u and e 'women power and all bole rilek one corner and smoke sheesha for a while.

itching for that

2006-06-13T10:12:00.000+08:00

thr's roughly 5 more months to go b.its been rocky.yet, its not as bad as i had imagine before u went in.seriously cant wait till u get thos much anticipated license by July 13th.whatsmore its a day before my bdae....ah lai!after that we chichilala or what?!....dun shy.....all of tis is so worth it b.e stability.e digits.e license.so worth e time ur in thr b.ok i noe im not e one in thr.but hey, i thinks its jus e same for me ok.anyways......i didnt noe Paris sings?!...seen her new video?...Stars Are Blind.wth eh.saw on bryan's.mcm soft porn.

if u have got nothing better to do.thn go to-

www.bryanboy.com

www.insidemybag.com

he is a gorgeous woman i tell u!e way he carries thos stuff.erg!
e amount of Gucci's Balenciaga's Hermes's(its pronouce as air-mes) thos skinny jeans! Kenzo's Goyard's!argh!...its ORGASMIC eh!HE's GAY and i LOVE him!!!!

His brown eyes tells his soul.

2006-06-06T14:10:00.000+08:00

goodness baby.am wishing you are here.for you to listen to my ramblings.there is much for u to know b.missing ur pits to tits!.....gonna have to throw tat stupid container worth of my valuables in the taxi boot and off to abah!i know ill be ,much closer to security, and all the privacy i want.but im gonna miss mak so badly, the warmthness of this cubic space, too i must say.my brothers...
darwish, n fuck it...AIN!...like she said "are we not fated to be living under one roof, kak?"it hurts.is it my fault?am i to blame for all this?but i guess tis gonna happen soon.not tis soon tho....i feel shitty.for all thats happen even if it hasnt got anything to do wit me.i just wished we were given just one, ONE chance to try n put everything together again.stick every thing else together where it,they,we belong.just one last oppurtunity to sacrifice eveything i have for a united US.i dun even care if i have to sleep on e couch...we could all just give it a TRY.no harm...dad?..ergh!

-
am gonna move back with abah.Darwish is settled.Ain is there for mak.everything else is gonna b like usual.the ten yrs of usualness(not sure if tis word exist)
Usual does sounds safe.but well who gives a heck if we just TRY.
i know everything happens for a reason.
but wheres the life in that?

Abah-i got myself to blame for letting u down.But ive learnt to grow.ill make it up to u dad, i promise.i miss it when u wud hug n concole me when im down.wipe away thos tears wut ur crocodile singlet.i miss u dancing n singing to Meggi Z.

Mak-again ive got myself to blame.maybe i jus din try hard enuff to be there when u needed me 'tho i was just...there.i wished u wud open up.i wished we cud conversate like more.wish u dun avoid e subject of 'pakcik'.if ive a magic.i'd put a spell on u to forget everything that happen tru out ur whole entire life.wish for u to wake up one sunny morning feeling refresh n b able to carved a smile on ur beautiul face.and sing again.

Adik-Dun tink apiz is e only human in my entire life.im jus waiting for u to have e courage to speak ur mind to me.and not feel emabarassed at allo.talk to me about anitin.frm abah to angst.friend to foe.emily to emo.i miss it when u wud lay down by my side n say u love me.miss it when we pinch tits.lets do tat again shall we sista?

Nok-i jus wished i cud erase ll e troubles ive caused u at home esp at WORK.i miss it when u wud hold my hands when crossing.combd my strays hairs in public.n let me hang out wit u n friends when i was much younger.ur the most gentlest yet strongest bro i can ever ask for.i miss e sungei road outings too.thanks to u im no minah.

Bam-i wish.i wished we stayed unda one roof tru out our whole life.we never see each other.we practically have nutin to talk when we meet at e family gatherings.but im glad.so glad we've bonded now.that ur here for me now.ur e most toughest n roughest yest softest bro i can ask for.thanks to u i noe respect.

on a brighter note-tanning this Sun!......

Apiz,

remember the first day when i saw ur face?
remember the first day when u smiled at me?
u stepped to me,
and then u said to me,
i was the woman u dreamed about..

remember the first when u called my house?
remember the first day when u took me out,
we had butterflies altho' we tried to hide and we both had a beautiful night.....
the way we held each others hand, the way we talked, the way we laughed.
it felt so good to find true love ,i knew right there and then u were the one

i know that he loves me 'cause he told me so...
i know that he loves me 'cause his feelings show...
when he stares at me, thu see he cares for me..
you see how he is so deep in love...
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

im so happy, so happy that ur in my life....
and baby now that ur a part of me u've showed me,
showed me the true meaning of love.

2006-06-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

oh goodness.abah's calling back.argh!how how how.

on a brighterr note its not bad what.....ergh...ok u noe wat...nvm.am gonna let it flow.

psst...I LOVE U BABY.missing u so much!love....

B'Day - Deja Vu

2006-06-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

5mnths left. and i am so gonna get darker than dark. i noe ur jealous of my tan b. dun worry, we'll do it together k? get rid of e lemax...hehe!!! happy bout e dinner on sat nite. hopefully,will get more chances to score points n reach e "target" come end of yr. pray hard.

i noe i promised to turn in early, but juz wanted to tell u again. i love u.

2006-05-30T12:52:00.000+08:00

Flying HOME

i miss! i miss! i miss! Prt 3

2006-05-30T12:36:00.000+08:00

thos are really huge durians!
juice indulgent
baby elephant roaming on e streets. trynna flag a taxi-a non con please!
i love tis shot
at tis point i was getting really tired

i miss! i miss! i miss! Prt 2

2006-05-30T12:13:00.000+08:00

he's happy cos he's grab his Godfather Tee!
tis is whr we stayed

KimSafeHouse
still missing e smell!

i miss! i miss! i miss! prt 1

2006-05-30T11:48:00.000+08:00

Oh i so miss e musty rustic thai smell!
view frm MBK bridge
together as farangs.happening or wat?!
hooter girls.Thai version.
neons of khao san
oh what big face i have.b, muke kau mat kotai
he's just realised what he's been missing .
SHOPPING!

tis pic taken on e day he's gonna go for his 1st shopping spree

a whole bunch of love

2006-05-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

i'd do anything to make this happen.Again.

i had a crush on u.

2006-05-28T23:43:00.000+08:00

passed btt. hopefully will pass final theory on fri, n get my drivin license by aug. i love my job...
technically, im not servin ns. im workin. to make myself feel better, i tell myself tat my employers sent me for a six-mnth course(make it seven) on e other side of the island and i can only go home on wkends. gotta work e mind u noe. once ndp is over, trainin will nt be disrupted much. nov 15th it will be. hope to c u thr b wit mama n bapak. 6th july too k.

missin u bad. even wit all e cards n photos i brought, i'd still die for a chance to run all e way frm cck to tamp to see u. not a trouble ma'am. nothin for u n for us, will be a trouble my dear. i promise u one thing tho. i will nvr ever try for e bad dream to come true. u love me,u care for me,u support me in watever i do,n u'll kick my ass when i do wrong. i love u baby!

excuse me miss. ;)

ROADTRIP-kelakar punye

2006-05-18T19:57:00.001+08:00

woke up yesterday at 7.yes 7 ok?!?!anyways woke up to a whole bunch of dirty laundries scattered all over...mattresess to arrange.sweep mop...chores chores chores.finished n straight for shower..cos cik may n family gonna pick me up at 9.30.still very early for me.hahah.but anyways i wasnt late la.believe me b.i was there before they were.e trip to yishun was fun.....jokes jokes laugh laugh...kelakar.cik may kept giving directions kak ina kecoh nabil was quite distracted eh.tapik tetap relax.reached wak yams block n rearrange all e kain-kain n bags..kecoh!it was my first ever time tempah baju ala typical melayu.tapik it was really fun...e madness..heh.wish my baby was there so wak yam takya kecoh.....all of us were quite piss with her instructions given to Mr nabil.wak yam mcm instruct to go left AFTER nabil turned right!stress kan..ok next...heading for e customs...cik may was worried they wud pen up e load of bags n find our kain-kain tempahan...n kene pay TAX!hahah...tapik tak....suspend je.up next was kotaraya!yeay....hahah...went to sabree's to do e guys baju!....relax b i insist urs mus b a telok blanga ok!hee....pastu we go mkn at tis foodcourt which i always patron with ny family too....guess wat la?!...it was e first time i acually took e initiative to read e name of the place la..."Foodcourt Kebayan"...ya tat was e name.kelakar ok...wak yam kept mentioning kebayan kebayan lupenye a foodcourt la.anyways...kak ina asik bekepit ngan nabil...quite sad...i miss apiz soo much.ergh!lastly to e much anticipated nyonya tailor!..oh btw at larkin i got my much wanted lace kain..lawa ok ala caramel creamish g2...very nice....ok at nyonya kak ina mcm kesian i noe wat she wants but dun tink its gonna turn out to be wat she REALLY visualize...me on e other hand designed my own outfit!!hehehhe excited......b im so gonna b over e top tis year eh......rent a car if we cud....cos i wanna go stilleto!!!!!!.......heheh...ok2 part nak balik ni quite irritatiing but geli hati at e same time.everybody was obviously tired n sleepy...cik may is quite worried at e same time.....Cik masri..u shud chill a bit eh..ur wife is a very considerate n passionate person to everyone...anyways from wdls checkpoint kite sesat keluar to some jalan kadut....heheh n wak yam kept saying her son or menantu knows e road well...at tis poitn i guess kak ina nak berasap n not nabil.heheheh but luckily she said "ala azmi pon dulu sesat sesat jugak.....thn everyone simmers down.heheheh overall we had such an exiting trip!!but...i MISS my baby soooo damn much.....!!argh..

i love u baby...wish u e very best of everything baby.MUAXXX!

thnx cik may!...n to tis really cute cute girl called ros...relax la ill link u up soon!

2006-05-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

thank you baby.for everything.thank you for supporting me no matter what.n im here supporting u all e way.its all gonna be worth eveything.i dun mind paranoia.i dun mind jealousy.i dun mind anything.i love u for u baby!dun need to shower me wit gifts n stuffs...tho u noe i love em.its not neccessary.but thank you too heheh!

Love u Love u Love u bacin!muax!!

im sorry.i just cant be w/o u baby.

2006-05-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

you had me there b.e short ***** term.u jolted me.remembering me about how i use to say em last time.twice infact.i apologise.my heart thumps,how thos tears flow, n flow n flow.....n when it stops outside it starts inside.i cant imagine myself being w/o you baby.but we had e same reasom as to why we had came to tat impulsive decision.Is to make each other happy.how can i?how can u?....how can we even be sure tat it guarantees happiness..where e fact is....we're lost w/o each other.b..no more of thos words coming frm ur mouth, neither will em from mine.i can never let u go.ive grown with you, thru you, in you.i fell in love wit u n falling in all over again wit u Hafeez.

gambar atas tu random je.hehe.feeling2 je.

2006-05-06T13:48:00.000+08:00

nov 15th. tats a long way to go. one month extension to e trainin, proudly brought to us by ndp 2006 n sept's world bank forum. we're so gonna enjoy our stay. trust me.

missin my fam n her badly in there.thnkfully i've got great squadmates. we try to put smiles on each other's faces all e time. especially when we get fucked by instructors. they really do love us regulars. hehe. we noe they're juz doin their jobs. 27weeks n 4 days to go. countin down already k.

i noe i easily get pissed for nuthin while inside. thnk u for bein patient. still, i really miss u. so fuckin bad, i get scared n tink whether u'll wait b. i noe u will.

love u sayang. arfah bacin.

2006-04-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

Tuesday,September 11,2001 (9/11/2001 [9/11]) - 9/11=911 9 1 1=11

September 11 is the 254 day of the year - 2 5 4=11

After September 11 there are 111 days left in the year

119 is the area code both for Iraq and Iran - 1 1 9=11

The twin towers standing together stood like "11"

Flight 11 was the first plane too hit the towers

State of New york is the 11th state in the US

New York City - 11 letters

The Pentagon - 11 letters

Afghanistan - 11 letters

George W. Bush - 11 letters

Flight 77 had 65 passengers - 5 6=11

Flight 11 had 92 passengers - 9 2=11

now try this

type Q33 NY on microsoft word

hi lite and change font to 48

hilite change font type to WINDINGS

amazing.

2006-04-21T16:58:00.000+08:00

i miss u baby.

come report to your MADAMME

2006-04-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

heheh.botak head u!so cute.so bacin.u smell n look different to me.i miss ur smell man.anyways..looks like ur enjoying time in there eh b.apart frm ur training n stuff.miss me tau!..cos i miss u so much!no one to make me look stupid haahahah.nvm......ill be waititng for u to report ryte here unda mr ketiak in 6 months time..

aku sayang kamu seargant Hafeez.lots of love muahs muahs.take care baby!

botak for 6 months.

2006-04-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

training sergeant nor hafeez reportin sir! hehe. first week of 6months at the home team academy was quite relaxed (im sure it'll get worse over time). regulars and nsmen are treated differently cos we regulars are expected to show a good example. plus, we gotta learn e marching drills n all quick. real quick. ndp 2006. guard of honour. i wonder if they'll find me tall enough to be in e lines. hopefully.

e food's great tho.

dun want anyone else. only u baby.

2006-04-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

im bringin neoprints of us. photographs of us. i swear i'd bring u if its possible. from everyday of seein each other, we're juz gonna have wkends for 6mnths. thnk u for understandin baby, tat its for e gd of e both of us. i tear, noein tat its gonna be e biggest challenge we have to go thru for now. noein tat i cant be thr wit u most of e time. let thr be noone else baby. only me. only u. only us.

i love u sayang.

2006-04-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

everyone can say
anyone can hear
everybody can see

how much your love
plays a part in me
in my life
in my past
in my future

everyone can say
anyone can hear
everybody can see

how much love you,
showered me
how sincere,
your pure love is

the language you,
spoke to me
my body u caress,
my fingers u munch

there'll be no farewell
no goodbye,
there'll be no gaps,
there'll be no space

from the time
you leave,
my heart just beats,
beats for my baby

everyone can say
anyone can hear
everybody can see

the gentleness in you
the honesty you exudes
the sincerity in you
the love you have inside

for me...i know.

B,

Im gonna miss the jokes you make, to put a smile on my face.The stupid arguments we had.Your touch, your words, the way u warm me up.Your face, your smile and laughter, your smell.Most of all im gonna miss YOU.MY BABY.NOR HAFEEZ.Don't you worry about me.I promise you what i promise you earlier on love.Take good care of yourself inside.Eat well, don't exert yourself.I LOVE YOU BABY.Take care.MUUAAXX!!!!

2006-04-04T21:07:00.000+08:00

Teringat masa kecilku kau peluk dan kau manja
Indahnya saat itu buatku melambung
Disisimu terngiang hangat napas segar harum tubuhmu
Kau tuturkan segala mimpi-mimpi serta harapanmu

Kau inginku menjadi yang terbaik bagimu
Patuhi perintahmu jauhkan godaan
Yang mungkin ku lakukan dalam waktu ku beranjak dewasa
Jangan sampai membuatku terbelenggu jatuh dan terinjak

Tuhan tolonglah sampaikan sejuta sayangku untuknya
Ku terus berjanji tak kan khianati pintanya
Ayah dengarlah betapa sesungguhnya ku mencintaimu
Kan ku buktikan ku mampu penuh maumu

Andaikan detik itu kan bergulir kembali
Ku rindukan suasana basuh jiwaku
Membahagiakan aku yang haus akan kasih dan sayangmu
Tuk wujudkan segala sesuatu yang pernah terlewati

im jus egoistic.itll fade off eventually.i still love you dad.

a fuck i shall give not.

2006-03-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

he doesnt exist anymore. so dun call me tat. oh yes btw, had enuff of bein nice to others when they're like motherfuckers towards me. so fuck u n ur mother. dun even matter who u were, are or will be, in my life. if i got respect for u, lets keep it mutual if u want positive relations.

fuck apiz ilm. he's dead.

nah. it din take long.

hafeez.

random

2006-03-28T21:25:00.000+08:00

Your e pride of my life

2006-03-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

If I could have my dreams come true
These are the things I'd like to do.
To have a warm cosy home,
And someone to share both the bad and the good.

We'd lie by the fireplace,forever it seems,
And share with each other our future of dreams.
As we tire of talking,we'd snuggle up close,
These are the times, I'd cherish the most.

The times when I feel so close to someone,
Who gives me such pleasure and so much fun.
Who isn't afraid of what the future may bring,
And share so much love, that our hearts sing.

So, until the time comes, when the timing is right,
I'll cherish our time everyday and night.
And if in the future, our dreams become one,
Then I'll know that my dreams has only begun.

To have you beside me, through the rough seas and good,
I know we'd make magic, I'm sure that we could.
For you are my soul mate, I believe in my heart,
And to get to our dreams, we must first make a start.

So, please take my hand, and don't be afraid,
I believe that together, our home will be made.
I'll never doubt my feelings for you,
And if you return them, all our dreams can come true.

I Love You Baby.

for me. for u. for us.

2006-03-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

thank u for makin me a pride of ur life. u noe i'll go thru anytin to get tat rank on my shoulders in 6 months' time. i am goin to. juz counted. i've got 19 days left. hehe. im trainin to make sure im able to adapt to e trainin asap. gotta make sure i pass all tests n be able to pass out without any delay.

11th april. 6 months. i promise u baby.

choa chu kang. here i come!

2006-03-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

.:RaNdOm In BaNgKoK:.

Congrats darling!u got in b...secured a stable future.for u n me.after tat.we got no one, but us.congatulations again!Nor Hafeez Masri.hehehe.train hard.rest enuff.dun b worrying too much bout me.ill be working and rest well at home,missing my baby.ill take good care of myself.noe my limits.n work hard.get home fast.cos all i wanna do is do as much sleep as i can...cos when ur out.we gonna celebrate baby!gosh u dun noe how happy i am.i love u baby!muaxx2!

n to adik

I love u too adik!u are e most exotic mocha tanned baby doll...in e whole wide world, tat even beyonce's caramel tone freezes hard.ur e most smartest geek,coolest chic.hehe.ok la...u take good care of ur lovely self.n all me up anytime.muax!lovex2!

go get a gayboy to teach u how to give head. a proper one. careful of e headscarf.

2006-03-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

she sure is a bitch. tell her to do away wit e headscarf, go finger herself 24/7 n cum juice which smells so bad tat even e most desperate pervert wouldnt want to taste. i can be patient, but it sure is testin when e problem caused is real fucked up.
i see arfah everyday. send her to work. fetch her from work. cause i want to see her. cause i love her. so a big fuckin shout out to those who even bother to cause us some serious shit. go get another hobby. givin me head can be one. juz a suggestion.

2006-03-19T21:08:00.000+08:00

its amazing e power of amazement u have on me.amazing how u can make me fly hi.amazing how u can make me stoop low.amazing how u can make me realise.amazing for how much you made me HUMAN.yes.wit feelings and emotions, happiness, sadness, sorrows, and bliss.i noe.u.i noe we are as fuck.as happy.as human.as normal.as hyper.as cautious.sensitive.bewildered.curious.clumsy.as naive.VERY HUMAN.its amazing how much inspiratin you gave.exudes.how loose we can be at times.how freak fuck we are.i cant help but be V.HUMAN.we MAKE MISTAKE mom/dad.we do.YOU do.tis is jus random.everitin from start of e para.to tis.i jus wished you wud jus speak up n stand up.not for me.not for anybody.but for YOU.ill work.wlak.improve my self, my life.to make you see tat im no repeat of ur painful past.ill show to u that im not u.ill show you mom/dad the child u raised beautifully.ME.yes.ME.you teach me, nuture me, raised me.for that im greatfully grateful.together wit e whole bunch of fools call siblings.i love em babies.
miss u baba.

wished.

2006-03-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

thnx ain for e help wit myspace, blog...endless help. thnx again.

shutterfly...

2006-03-14T14:07:00.000+08:00

ive signed up for shutterfly instead.hah.y din we think of it eh b?it wont be lost.n we dun haf to upload em all in tis blog.bodo sungguh.anyways go check it out ArFeez at shutterfly....love...

sawadeeka ms rnd, nak 3 star segale.hmphh eventually got left behind and missed e flight, so much for e planning.bodo sungguh!

2006-03-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

the weekend was great!me and apiz just got back frm Bangkok..and a bunch of our friends..who got left behind and had to stay anthr day for anthr flight!well we told em in advance to be an hour early....n they had e cheek to ask"issit a must to b at e airport b4 1?"nak sarcastic kan?!e flight is 2.20 for gdness sake.watever it is be safe la sundel.wanna stay at a 3 star hotel segale...nak chichilala...ape sak...padan muke kau.hahahahahah..gosh i wish i cud laff in her face ryte thr n thn when we touched down....hahahaha....tu la nak step R&D kan...research ke pe..planning ke pe....buts its a pity..that e rest of em legong followed suit.anyways u guys shud noe better e next time.so to e ppl who followed ms rnd suit...u shud noe better in future too.tis pondan v. bodo sombong kan.

fuck em.bkk was superb..everytime i go, i jus wanna keep going back.but it wud b better if all of em cabbies are willing to put on e meter.fucker sia.bloodsucker.bought alot of stuff.....no not really baby got more.heheh.adidas,shades,shirtsss,bottoms,sweater.i got bag,purse,4 kaftans,3 bottoms, me and baby went for pedi and medi too!..haha they practically pull out all em cuticles..buff em polish..got mine french..and baby got his in translucent lacquer!hehe..total make over.but as charming as ever.he loves bkk now....hehe goin thr again hopefully..sooner.but i can feel e pinch in e prices now...slighty steeper thn usual la sial kan..i guess bkk is already well known all over for their fantastic goods and bargains....next trip?TAIWAN...e place to go.watc out ppl.Taiwan's gonna b e next Bkk.nuff bout tat..did i mention patpong?oh hell...it was mind boggling, culture shocking thing uve ever gonna see.we went for thaigirlshow n yes e ever popular patpong shows..where we get to see live infront of our damn eyes....girls opening a bottle of sealed cola, fag, write, filling n refilling cola all using only their pussies.how fucked is tat?oh n yes...we see live fucking session infront of our eye...on e neon platform.fucking culture shocking.will blog more tmrw...for now my eyes need em rest.gdnite n tc.will downoad em pics tmrw.ooooooiiiiiiiiii.........

ps:i had fun baby./.enjoyed every moment of it.thank you and apologies for all e conflicts and arguments we had truout e trip.we gained knowledge n at e same time learn more about their culture/country each other..n oso ourselves.thank you for e experience.i love you!n rest ya!muax!

2006-03-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

I grew in a family.then half a family.Then back to e other half part of e family.still i grew.Ive got friends who's family are troubled, drugged, divorced,corrupted, wayward and lots more.Still i love.In life, i know isnt all rosy and fuzzy peachy.But i do know, i have a beautiful soul by my side, a great family all around me.A job which i love.Still im not afraid of e harsh reality, all e bumps and humps.Im still as carefree.I still would love to be wit e man of my life, to build a marriage life, a family.Prepared to jump over e hurdles, bend under the scrapers go thru all e obstacles.With all e examples and disturbing scenes and troubled moments i saw, i know, i heard, ive been thru...i will reflect and will not let them repeat nor happen to me and my love ones...in future or tomorrow.i just am holding to this hope.A hope that i pray will be acchieved and only will then, me and my Nor Hafeez can carry out our plan and make it happen.This is what from my experience wit my parents life, a great and lasting marriage shud be or at e very least be like...

1st, marriage should be love
all encompassing, total, and free.
love that grows stronger each day
soft murmurs of u,u,u.

2nd, marriage should be sacrifice
giving of self, regardless of reward.
gift gladly given, with open heart
shielded from life's harsh sword.

3rd, marriage should be commitment
utter loyalty, deep to the bone.
absolutely, no questions asked
faithfully promised, never alone.

lastly, marriage should be forever
family bonded, yet all still free.
lives joined with love, sacrifice, and commitment
an eternity promised with -
u, u, u.

ps:I Love You Nor Hafeez.May we make it happen.Happen fast, but BLISSFULLY.sleep tite.